Freak Show Friday: Richard Simmons

Where DOES one start with Richard Simmons? Hmm. I know, I'll just be blatantly honest. Okay, here you go... The man absolutely frightens me! I've NEVER liked his WAY over-the-top prancing about, or his iconic shorty-shorts and fancy tanks. And just his overall faggy presence gives me the creeps. I know that last statement must seem pretty harsh, if not a little confusing, coming from another gay man and all, but you must understand my viewpoint.

I'm well aware of what an incredible motivator he has been for lots and lots of overweight people for years, and that really is great, but at the same time I feel quite strongly that his mincing, prancing, and screaming only perpetuates gay stereotypes. And I can NOT stand anything or anyone that perpetuates gay stereotypes, especially when it's SO up in your face like Richard's antics are! When he's "on", of course.



Here, Mr. Simmons is covered in poof balls. Just

in case there were any lingering doubts...




























Please, don't get me wrong. I don't hate the man, I just can't stomach him! There IS a difference, you know. But it can be a fine line at times.




Now, THIS is just tutu much!



"You are clear for take-off."

So, there you have it - another Freak Show Friday AND my brutally honest opinion about a famous old queen who so desperately needs your attention!

P.S. - I'll try and be a little nicer to my next subject. Maybe, if I can...

My infatuation with the 1950s housewife

Just what is it about the perfectly idealised American housewife of the 1950s that so appeals to me? Yes, I'm gay, but does that really make much sense for a reason? I mean, wouldn't it make more sense if I was straight? I am, after all, attracted to images of women dressed in some of their finest wardrobe, cooking and cleaning to their heart's content.

I guess when it's put that way it does sound pretty gay, huh? Oh, well.

Vintage Drugstore Carnival: 'Ovaltine'... To wake up GAY in the morning!

"Why be content to waken tired, listless, or low in the morning - when you should be gay and radiantly alive? Why not follow this simple plan thousands are using for sparkling morning freshness? Just drink a warm cup of Ovaltine at bedtime each night."

So, where's the disclaimer that states side effects include an increased desire to participate in same-sex frivolities before lunch?


~ Image taken from the postcard book, "Just what the doctor ordered": Health and Grooming in the Classic Age of Advertising. Published by Prion Books Limited, London. ~

"Hey, Santa! Whatcha sellin'?" - The jolly old elf in advertising.

How can anyone say "No" to a face like that? Besides, it's freakin' Santa Claus! And WHO doesn't like him?? Well, if YOU don't, go play on the freeway. You're dumb! Plus, you'll probably get coal in your stocking...

Anyway, for the rest of us who DO still like good ol' Saint Nick, I've compiled a gallery to display just some of the finer examples of his contribution to advertising. This would also be considered an "old skool" edition, mostly because I don't think any of these ads date past the 1960s. Oh, and F.Y.I., these are only the tip of the iceberg. As I continue to sort through and find more gems, I'm sure the urge to share will be much too hard to resist! So, for now, please enjoy what I've collected below.






I really like how colorful this is! And how great is it that
the "train" is actually one of the Christmas crackers?!





























I think the detailed artwork in this is very
impressive! Love the lettering font, too!

































As if Santa wasn't already huge enough with
everyone, here he's quite literally HUGE...
He's a GIANT! Just look at how he towers
over those rocky mountains beneath him!
And I'm sure it's because he eats lots and
lots of Sunkist Seedless Navel Oranges!

 



































I can't even tell you how MUCH I absolutely
LOVE this image! It just makes me HAPPY
in all sorts of ways! Even just the name
"Ribbon Candy Rocket" makes me giddy...
Yep, I'm gay.



































I like this, but what I DON'T like is how
Jack and Betty just demand, "Bring us
Tinker Toys." WHERE, may I ask, is the
"Please" in that request? Hmm? I think
Santa ought to skip their house!



































Isn't this great? I just hope that was the
LAST house on Santa's route...
































Again, another very pleasing one to me!































I don't know about you, but a Thermos has
NEVER been on MY Christmas wish list.



It'd sure be a shame if all Santa was carrying
in his bag-o-tricks was Colgate products, huh?
He'd BETTER have some toys in there, too!

  































Not sure if this is from the 1950s or '60s, but it
rings early '60s to me, for some reason. Is Santa
actually demonstrating that the television is
slightly narrower than his own waistline?
Could that really be a selling point?



































This is quite nice.
It reminds me of Santa's Village!






























Well, that'll do it for today's gallery, kids. Check back again, real soon, to see what else is NEW at the circus! In the meantime, try to relax and enjoy the holiday season. "See" you later!


~ All images taken from the book, 'Christmas: Vintage Holiday Graphics'. Edited by Jim Heimann. Published by Taschen. ~

"No, duh!" - Ricky Martin officially declares that he is a gay man, after all.

Finally, after dancing around the subject for waaay too long, 38-year-old Puerto Rican singer/actor, Ricky Martin, released an official statement on his own website confirming what many of us had suspected all along. Here is just a portion of what it said:


"These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.

What will happen from now on? It doesn’t matter. I can only focus on what’s happening to me in this moment. The word 'happiness' takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am."


Alright, I have just one question.

Did Mr. Martin really think that people still believed he was heterosexual after seeing the way he "shook his bon-bon", back in the late '90s?? No straight guy I've ever known could move the way Ricky can! That's for damn sure! Aaand I think most ladies, along with plenty of men, would also agree that he's real "easy on the eyes". So... Hello?! Everybody knows that a guy who's that attractive, and can dance that well, must be gay! It's just a basic law of nature, or something.

I do think it's absolutely wonderful that he has decided to finally be true to himself, living openly, honestly and without any sense of shame. It will be the best, healthiest way for Ricky to raise his adopted twin boys, and I know that he will find his life to be much richer and more fulfilling than before.

But, come on... This recent announcement certainly ain't news!






"Oh, shake your bon-bon, shake your bon-bon,
shake your bon-bon!"






(Sorry, I can't come up with anything
clever to say about this one. I'm a bit
distracted by the view...)






"Hey, you guys! Look what I just found
washing up on shore... Do you think I
could keep 'em?"

Ricky with his two twin sons, Matteo (L) and
Valentino (R), strolling along the beach in Miami.





~All photos via Google Images~

"OFF with (my) head!"

Lately, I've been suffering major headaches. Much more than usual. In other words, I've been miserable every single day for the last week-and-a-half! See, the last time that I saw my doctor I told him that I had been having real intense headaches more and more frequently than usual, and he asked me what I take for them. I said that I almost always take Excedrin, and sometimes more than once a day. Well, his professional opinion was that I was experiencing rebound headaches caused by the Excedrin! My basic understanding is that once your brain gets used to frequent doses of the high caffeine content in the drug, and then you stop taking it for a day or two, your brain throws a fit in the hopes that you'll take it again. Thereby, creating a vicious and oddly symbiotic cycle!

His remedy for this was for me to detox by not taking it at all for at least 2 weeks. And he warned me that it would be hell, much worse before it got better. Boy, was he ever right! It's been really tough! I usually have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but nothing could have prepared me for this. What I don't understand is, why wouldn't I just stop taking it for good, throw it away and never buy it again? If I went back to taking it, wouldn't the whole sick cycle start over? I guess that I should have asked the doc more questions...

Bottom line is, after about only 3 or 4 more days of this misery, I should be feeling a whole lot better. And I would be more than happy to permanently remove another drug from my daily medicinal regimen! In the meantime, let's have a good laugh with the following mix of both vintage ads and modern images, shall we? They do say that laughter is the best medicine!







"Poor Anthony" is more like it! But screaming
would just make my head hurt even worse.







"Will you pass the Brain Salt, please?
Mine is a bit bland..."







Just thinking about telling his
wife that he's really gay, made
his head hurt. Then he thought,
"Maybe, one of my boyfriends
will make my head feel better."







I love bulldogs! I hate headaches.







Just thinking about why her
husband never wants to have
sex, made her head hurt. Then
she thought, "Maybe, all he
really needs is more time out
with the guys, doing guy things."







This one's a bit creepy, but also fascinating. I
mean, it's like an x-ray of a headache, you guys!
And it's so pretty!







Maybe, taking off the hat and tie would help a little, grampa!







This is an old medical chart for trepanning,
a centuries-old surgical procedure that
involved drilling holes into a patient's skull.
It was believed to cure epileptic seizures,
migraines and mental disorders. Could you
imagine?! I need that like a hole in the head...







You have got to be a total sucker if you think
that this is gonna work! Aaaaand the television
commercial is so annoying it could make your
head hurt just from watching it.
"Head On... Apply directly to the forehead.
Head On... Apply directly to the forehead.
Head On..." Oh, just shoot me now!






Have a great Labor Day weekend, everybody! Remember, those of us who actually still have a job will be returning to work on Tuesday, so have some fun but don't go "losing your heads"!


~All images via Google Images~

Freak Show Friday: Pete Burns

All photos via Google Image Search

Yes, Pete Burns is still technically a man, but I wouldn't blame you for thinking otherwise. In fact, if you knew him back in the 1980s as the lead singer for Dead Or Alive, you might not even recognize him now. He always WAS flamboyant and a bit of a diva, but after he became addicted to plastic surgery, the freak-factor really started to climb! Just LOOK at those lips!

The last several Dead Or Alive albums have seen band members come and go, but Pete has been the one common thread holding the act together. However, in my opinion, nothing they've done since the album 'Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know' has been any good. And that's probably because they did not retain the same fun, edgy, slightly goth dance vibe that drew them so much attention and success in the '80s. I know that it's usually better for bands to change or evolve, instead of just continuing to crank out the same sort of material and stagnating... But that applies to the artists who take it seriously, and I think we all know that Dead Or Alive was always pretty much disposable. Plus, it would seem that the ONLY thing Pete has ever taken seriously is his appearance!

See, he's not a woman...

Those are man breasts, baby!

I have to say that 'Youthquake' will always be my favorite Dead Or Alive album, and I certainly think that Pete's dark, and almost spooky look during that time was the best. Here, take a look at the album cover, below.

Their look and sound just seemed so

different than anything else at the time.

And Pete had great hair!

In a dramatic, blue mood...

There's that wild & sexy hair, again!

It's like a lion's mane, and I soooo

wished that MY hair would do that!

Now, I get to be the spooky one and show you something REALLY scary. As perhaps a modern-day cautionary tale, Pete details his truly horrific experience with cosmetic lip surgery gone WAY wrong in his autobiography, 'Freak Unique'. Take a look, below, for just a sampling of what he went through.

WARNING: The following images most assuredly will disturb you and/or make you sick to your stomach. View at your own discretion!

You KNOW that's gotta hurt!
It almost looks like how people used
to stitch a dead person's mouth
closed for burial...

It got so bad that his lips were actually

oozing pus! Now, tell me, is ANYTHING

worth going through this?!

Now, you'd never know that those

plump, voluptuous "mouth pillows"

weren't natural... Yeah, RIGHT!

Here's the book.

Not only does Pete talk about all

of the plastic surgery, he also shares

an intimate behind-the-scenes look

at his life as a pop star.

Tommy was a big Dead Or Alive fan

too, so we're planning to read it

out loud to each other, and giggle a lot!

Well, that about covers it. For a general overview of a man who would become a lady-like man, anyway. Have a great weekend, everybody! And try NOT to think of those scary lip photos the next time you go to kiss your honey...

Freak Show Friday: Bobby Trendy

Hello, my loyal spectators! And welcome to the debut post for a series I affectionately refer to as 'Freak Show Friday'! Here, I will feature one lucky (or un-lucky, depending on how you see it) person every Friday that is so strange/bizarre that I just DON'T GET IT! It could be anyone from a wannabe celebrity to an eccentric artist or even a collector of bronzed doggy-doo. I made that last one up, but you get the idea. It will be kept varied and interesting for you, so you might want to go mark your calendars...

My first victim, err, subject is the one and only "luxurious" Bobby Trendy. I think that he first popped-up on the radar back in 2002 when he was shown designing the interior of Anna Nicole Smith's bedroom on the first season of her reality show. Actually, I don't remember seeing very much designing going on in the show. What I do remember is lots of arguing between Bobby and Anna Nicole! They each had their own vision for the room and it was a constant tug-o-war. Plus, Bobby had trouble obtaining furniture and meeting his deadlines. Anna Nicole did not have the patience required to deal with Bobby, but it all made for some entertaining television. I wouldn't WANT him decorating my home, he has awful taste for both interior design AND clothing! I mean, just look at those pics!



"I never will forget, the way you
looked tonight... The lady in red"



I don't think that there's much more to be said about Bobby Trendy, other than he's obviously been out & about making "appearances" in several Hollywood parking lots. The pics clearly illustrate that! And he supposedly has his own interior design company, but the links to his website that I found did not work. It must be the current economy, right?



When I am gay, I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go...



I saved the best one for last, folks! And I think it might be visual proof of just how bad things have gotten for Bobby since the recession.


O.K., are you ready?

An Evening with Kathy Griffin

Just this last Saturday night, my husband and I went to see one of our favorite stand-up comediennes, Kathy Griffin. Her show was at the Orange County Performing Arts Center and the place was packed! SOLD OUT, in fact! Sort of surprising for the largely conservative O.C. when you consider the type of comedy Kathy is known for. But she's got a BIG following, obviously, and she deserves it!

Kathy also has a HUGE gay fan-base, and they certainly "came out" for the show, same as we did. I mean, they were everywhere! It was so nice to be with a crowd of our own peers for a change. Believe me, it's not a common occurrence around these parts!

Anyway, back to Kathy... She opened the show with a video montage of all sorts of different media appearances she's made, everything from bit parts on 'Seinfeld' and 'X-Files' (I know, 'X-Files'? I didn't remember that, either!) to commercials she's done, her stint as the 'Celebrity Mole', and even a role she played in a horror movie! Oh, and of course, her break-through role on 'Suddenly Susan' which I think lasted about 4 seasons. The montage concluded with clips from her T.V. reality show on Bravo, 'Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List', that was most responsible for making her a household name. I'm not entirely sure that the show's name is even accurate anymore. Is she STILL really only on the D-List? I think her popularity has bumped her up the list a bit, by now! Of course, Kathy's an "A" in my book...

The material Kathy covered was all over the map. She talked about having seen Britney lip-syncing in concert, and that led into a story about how Kathy was just "hanging out" with rapper T.I. at Roscoe's Chicken & Waffle House and how she got him to call Justin Timberlake on his cell phone. Let's see, she also talked about Oprah, and then Kirstie Alley's latest guest-appearance on Oprah's show where Kirstie talked about her weight gain since the whole Jenny Craig thing. Of course, she talked a bit about 'The Real Housewives of Orange County'. I think that she probably felt she had to since that was where she was! Tommy and I kinda "checked out" during that part because we've never watched the show. But then she went on to talk quite a lot about her 88-year-old mom, Maggie. That's ALWAYS entertaining because Kathy can't talk about her mom without impersonating her, and she's a real crack-up as her mom!

She also talked about Donald Trump and his 'Celebrity Apprentice' show. And she couldn't talk about that without mentioning Joan Rivers. Kathy really admires Joan, which makes total sense. I know I've forgotten stuff, but you get the picture! She keeps her act fresh and always has new material on the latest pop culture for each show she does. In fact, I don't know that she EVER does the same set twice. That's one of the great things about her!

If you are at all offended by curse words, you should NOT see Kathy live! She doesn't hold back ANYTHING! When she doesn't have to worry about things like the FCC, she just drops the F-bombs like it's Pearl Harbor all over again! And dirty, dirty, dirty... She's got a real potty mouth! And we just loved it!

I hope that we get out and do things like this more often because we had a great time and laughed a lot! You know what they say about laughter...

Yes, I Like Madonna...

Liking Madonna does not make me gay. Nor does the fact that I am gay automatically mean that's why I like her. Make sense? The truth of the matter is that she is a very talented individual who I am drawn to because of her looks, charisma, confidence and music. I just happen to also be a dude who's married to another dude!

I've followed Madonna since her original rise to stardom in the early 1980s. I can remember the first time I ever heard her sing. She was on the radio and I thought that she was black. I guess that there was something in her voice back then that sounded "black"? It might have been just me, but I'd be curious to know if other people thought the same thing. Of course, now she uses her voice a bit differently, but it's still unmistakably Madonna. I know that she worked with a vocal coach while making the movie 'Evita', and ever since then her voice has been noticeably stronger.

This is from her 'Ray of Light' period.

That's one of my favorite albums, BTW!

My two absolute favorite Madonna albums are 'Ray of Light' and 'Confessions on a Dance Floor'. I felt that the latest, 'Hard Candy', was kind of weak. It does have a few gems on it, though! I like the tracks, 'Miles Away' and 'Spanish Lesson'. And, of course, the hit '4 Minutes' w/Justin was fun, but only for about 4 listens! I understand that she's continuing the 'Sticky & Sweet' tour outside of the U.S. through the end of Summer. I don't know where she gets all that energy! You'd think, even as fit and healthy as she is, that her schedule would be completely exhausting. I'm sure that it would be for us "normal" people. But Madge isn't just any mere mortal!

Here, she's posing on the 'Dance Floor'.

I seriously doubt that this dynamic performer takes any kind of enhancing drugs. She's just so into being like a super-human specimen that I can't imagine she would pollute her body in that way. Besides, how could she possibly keep giving such quality output if she was doing drugs? I think drugs of any kind would have such negative effects on her that it would be very outwardly evident.

I presume that Marie Antoinette was her

muse for this photo shoot. Either that, or she's

looking for a dangerous liaison...

I must say that Madonna seems to me like the definitive example of ambition. If only I could have a fraction of the drive she has... But I do wonder sometimes why she's still sooo driven at this point in her career? I mean, her monetary worth is in the millions upon millions and she's practically the biggest living entertainment legend on the planet! I guess that's not enough for her. And I'm glad it's not, because that seemingly insatiable hunger that propels her is what also makes her so unique.

This is an eye-opening read!

I'm sure, at this point, you must be thinking I totally worship this woman. But that is not entirely correct. See, I read the book that Madonna's brother wrote, and assuming that Christopher is telling the truth, I cannot like the private person she is at all! After reading about the way she treated him over the years, it makes complete sense why he would've written the book in the first place. Even if it is like his 'Sister Dearest' done out of revenge, you really can't blame him! I think that it was probably the healthiest thing he could have done for himself. It most likely did for him what it would have taken many years of therapy to do!

No matter how rotten of a person she may really be, I will always like Madonna for being the provocative and exciting performer that she is!